Robert Jay Spain

one time when we where kids in the group home we where able to go to the shriners circus . we where all sitting down enjoying ourselfs then suddenly bobs arm jerked n his cup of dr pepper went flying onto a group of shriners . thr shriner sitting right directly in front of him insisted that it was done on purpose  so the old man had other old men holding him back . bob in se lf defence insisted that it was an accident and all the other young boys where holding him back . this caused a circus in its self and needless to say we ended up being kicked out all together . on the way back to the group home one of the counsolers asked bob if he had anything to say for himself . bob just kind of shrugged hid shoulders and in a guestioning and high pitched tone he meekly replied the single word ...sorry?..... even as an adoult he could not even bare the sight of a shriner .... 

just thinking of u n the time that bobby was giving me an update on his whole family and what they had been upto during the years we had spent apart and how he had told me how proud he was of jessica with her style and personality and how much he felt they had in common he loved her alot just like he did the rest of his family its just that after talking to her on the phone today that memory came flooding in and it was something that i wanted to share

bobby was always the kind of person willing to do anything to make someone more comfortable and to make them smile beyond the point of extreame one time my cap on my front tooth came off and i was humilliated beyond belief and refused to talk to anyone without covering my moulth with my hand and even called out of work this being friday i had called and set an oppointment for monday morning as an emergercy witch only left the weekend to wait and of course i only wanted to stay home and not go out dancing and this made bobby feel soo bad for me that he actualy proceaded to go into the bathroom with a pair of plyers and attempt to break his tooth off in the same manner as mine in order to look the same as me so i did nit feel soo ugly i was on the phone at the time so my thoughts where not connecting as fast as they should have been so it did take me a seckond but the big tip off was when he approached me with the yanking tool from the tool box in hand as he leaned over me to examine the exact tooth before dissipearing arround the corner and thats when it dawned on me the reality of the whole situation of his effort and i then dashed into the bathroom where he stood in front of the mirror and wrestled the tool out of his hand just in the nick of time in totale awe and disbelife then i was verry upset but now i can understand bobbys consept and how sweet the attempt and i also now know in my heart that he was the most unselfish person on this planet hind sight is 20/20 and if i had it all to do over again id not have worried how i looked gone out danced and embraced every moment i had with him but i have no regrets that i loved him because he saw beauty in everything including me i miss him every day and now know that im a better person for the time that i did have with him because anyone to do that really knew how to love

i was just thinking of things said and done in the past and although some of my bob stories are ment just for me and im shure everyone has special memories like that but i can remember a time when just the 2 of us being alone together meant everything and just from that it felt 2 us that everything in the world was right even if it only lasted a couple of minuts becausde of the fact that personal space really was an issue that in my opinion may have been overly stressed it also caused us a great deal of trouble and but still worth it 2 us and there are times that 4 no apparent reason at all memories of things that where said by bob come flooding into my head i still laugh at bobs response when they yelled personal space 2 us as a reminder as he answerd them with she doesnt mind she is shareing hers with me thet was many years ago 18 2 b exact i have been told i need 2 let go of some things but i cant im not ready and dont think i ever will be ther was only one person like bob who touched everyones sole apon first impression in the best possible way he is the one 2 always be rememberd and although no people can possibly ever be like or replace bob just try 2 imagine how much better of a place the world could be if we could just use him as example 2 follow its just a thought like many others i have but a good one just think about it love always becky

bobby u always had such a good outlook on life even when u where asleep u would giggle .i miss that ,i usualy waited till u where asleep before i climed into bed so i could hear u giggle .although u never rememberd ur dreams so i never knew y u giggled i knew they musthave been good so it assured me that everything was ok so i fell asleep happy .god i miss that feeling that only u where ever able 2 give me happy n safe not quite but almost as much as i miss u .still love u but u know that