Robert Jay Spain

I JUST GOT BACK FROM NEW YORK A COUPLE OF DAYS AGO FROM VISITING OUR OLD BUDDIE RAY I DROVE THROUGH LOTS OF RAIN AND SNOW ON THE WAY BACK AND IT FELT LIKE YOU WHERE WITH ME THE WHOLE TIME NO JOKE AND RAY CAME BACK WITH ME BECAUSE HE WAS HAVING SOME PROBLEMS THERE AND WANTED A CHANGE OF PACE IM ABOUT 2 LEAVE 2 GO 2 HOHENWALD 2 HELP UR MOM AND JEANNA I SHOULD HAVE BEEN THERE A WEEK AGO BUT CLAIMING THAT THIS LAST WEEK HAS BEEN CRAZY WHOULD B AN UNDERSTATEMENT ANYWAY I JUST WANTED 2 LET U KNOW I LOVE YOU AND I BEEN THINKING OF U

I miss you more every day. You treated me as if I were fine when I got out of the hospital paralyzed. You were the only one that understood my trials and tribulations because you had more or less been there. When you came to "say goodbye for the last time", I would have said more. I miss ya, man!

I have been thinking about you all day today,[well, everyday I think about you] but today especially, I was thinking about how much I miss your silly smile,and the way you could always make me laugh. I remember when I took you to the drs office and you sat in my lap and said "I don't wanna go in dere, mommy!!! I skeered!!" I am sure a lot of mom's remember their kids doing that, but you were 20 yrs old!!! It was so funny, the girl that was there in the waiting room, said "I wish my mommy was here!!" So many things that I think about you doing, funny and not so funny, I could fill a book. I miss you so much. Love mom!!!

Today I went to a concert and it started raining. I got out from under the VIP tent and took my shoes. I danced in the rain and thought of you. I looked like a hippie in my long sundress dancing to Little Big Town in the rain. Our family is not afraid to kick off our shoes and play in the rain. Daddy was always that way and so were you. I miss your smile and your smirk. I miss your hugs and your sarcastic remarks. I miss so much about you. I miss you.

when i was young there was the begining of love that of a kind i had never known before starting with butterflys in my stomach and soon grew into something much more ........even after his death he still represents lif and all that is good in this world ..he is in the brese tat travels through the trees on a warm summer day and he surrounds u as u sit beneath it in the shade ....he is with the birds that u hear as u wake in the morning ..and also among the whipperwills at night ...he helps to decide what shade the leaves will turn in the fall ......as adoults as we got back together the first thing that we did was go to a festival and the butterflys came back only not in my stomache this time but on my shoulder instead it was almost magical in the sence that it it something that you whould have to see to belive and only the people there where able to see and even as i tried to pass it off it hitched a ride right back onto me ......as i grieve for bobby i have come to realize that it is mainly out of selfishness because i do know that whereer he is he will find happiness ........his presenceis in the fire that warms you on a cold winter day and in the sweetest dreams that you may have and the mere thought of him can calm your nerves .......butterflys where at his funeral and i also belive he war among them and guiding them to us to ligthen the mood as he always had done before .......

everyone knows exactly how bobby was with wild flowers .there was one wild rose bush one summer that every time he went by it he had 2 stop the car n pick one 4 my hair.i kept thinking about that rose bush soo much that  i finaly ventured off 2 get it one night with shovel in hand .it actualy ended up being alot larger than i had originaly antisipated and i receaved many scratches and wore many ticks proudly in the process-bobby always said that scars where sexy,and im shure il have at least a couple from this venture but the end resault was wrth it because with a little love and patience with the wild rose bush im now rewarded with an entire wheelchair ramp of beautiful pink roses that r now growing all down the side that is the same bush from witch bobby picked them 4 me and honestly from him that i learned that there is such a thing as wild rose bushes .i heard that rose bushes where planted on his grave sight ,im trying 2 reproduce one from the same plant at the moment and have already purchased an arch since it is a climbing one and hope 2 b able 2 plant it by the begining of next summer given that i bring the pot inside in winter anyway plz wish me luck on this cause as much as it means 2 me i also know it will mean the same 2 him n it will mean alot 2 me just 2 be able 2 let him guide me 4 now on with witch one 2 put in my hair roses will b pink as long as live

i cry for everyone that loved him .i cry for myself and for him too.and although at times i may seem like the saddest most sappiest person in the  world if i could just relax  for one moment and tune the rest of the world out i can still feel the presence of his love and then i know im not alone.then i find myself wipeing tears of joy.still crying but better tears.always crying....................                                stop and smell a  flower everyone and  almost instantly you can feel his love in the wind..........................try it

its odd how i can be doing something ordinary and then a memory of you just pops up  . its almost as if you are doing it and i think you are . my aunt bonny came here from texas and we went out to eat for my moms birthday at olive gaden and all that kept flashing through my mind was all of the times that we ate here and the conversations that we had as clearly as if it where yesterday . and then just as insantly out of the clear blue without me speaking my thoughs out loud bonny started talking about how you used to  make her laugh all of the time and i just looked up and smiled as i thought of how you just found a way to still make me do so . i cant wait until the day that i can physicaly meet up with you again beyond pictures and memories although they are great also . and i know that now i amnever without you spiritualy and never have been since we first met.love you always..............             your beckito

i still talk about you every day.i was soo lucky to have had you in my life and to have had your heart the luckiest girl in the world and i know that i was not the easiest girl to love but you did i anyway with every inch of you sole . i loved youtoo and still do i am just not as sweet as you but some day we will meet again and until then you will forevr be in my heart       you and me againstthe world   bs/bs ,

I went to your grave last month and was sitting there with all of the girls and a small frog jumped up on my foot. It let me pick it up and I sat it on your grave along with all of the frogs that are already there.I have frogs sitting in my living room. I buy everything I see with a frog on it.Since your nickname is FrogkingBob. I sense you everywhere. Tommy says that you live in the chimney at Grannies house which is now our house. I know how much you love it there. We wanted to get it so we can be closer to you but it doesn't matter we are close to you and feel your presence everywhere.